


Feels Like Heaven

by amandateaches



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean's memories of Hell, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Reader-Insert, post-hell trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 06:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16928322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amandateaches/pseuds/amandateaches
Summary: Dean finds a way to do the impossible and heal his scars from Hell. It all starts when he meets you.





	Feels Like Heaven

**Author's Note:**

> This is based around the song “Only Know I Do” by Adam Gregory and the title was supplied by @impala-dreamer

If you asked any random angel or demon who the luckiest man alive was, they’d all immediately say the same thing: Dean Winchester.

The answer was clear. He’d been the one who’d gotten out of Hell, predestined by God himself to escape. He’d survived the unsurvivable, coming away scot-free with a second chance at life. If that wasn’t lucky, then what was?

But, Dean knew the truth: he wasn’t lucky at all. In fact, Dean Winchester was pretty damn sure that he was the unluckiest man alive, because he may have escaped Hell, but he certainly didn’t survive it.

There were still nights when he woke up screaming, bathed in his own sweat, nights where he cried out in pain, begging for a relief that would never come. It stayed with him, a scar that not even an angel could heal.

He’d tried to get past it, he really had. He’d focused on Sam, on the job, and on killing as many evil sons of bitches as he could, but he couldn’t forget. No matter what he tried, or how many years passed, he couldn’t erase the torture he’d suffered, or even worse, the torture he’d inflicted. It stayed with him, it possessed him, and it broke him.

Eventually, he gave up trying. He gave up hoping that he could redeem himself or erase the sins he committed. He was sure that’s what he deserved: for the pain and the guilt to stay with him until the inevitable day he was sent back to Hell where he belonged. It was his fate.

But, little did Dean know that fate had something else planned for him. You.

 

How do you explain the way

my world has changed right before my eyes

And how do you explain the way you

gave me wings

when I swore I could never fly

 

The night Dean met you was a particularly bad one.

The nightmares had come on suddenly, forcing him up and out of the small motel room he had been sharing with his brother and into the crisp night air.

He’d started out walking to clear his mind, but he quickly realized that was pointless. No matter how much distance he tried to put between him and the dark thoughts, they continued to plague him, as they always did.

Eventually, he gave up on the promise of sleep, falling back onto the only thing he could trust to help: whiskey.

He quickly found the only bar left open at this time of night, entering with just one purpose: to forget.

But, that all changed the moment he entered and his eyes fell on you. You were the only other person in the deserted room, but that’s not what drew him to you. There was something else about you, something different that called out to him like a light shining at the end of a very long tunnel. A light that just so happened to be drop-dead gorgeous.

Maybe she’ll help me forget for the night, Dean thought with a smile as he began to move towards you, like a moth to a flame.

And, help him forget you did, because, although he didn’t know it at the time, Dean had just taken his first step on the road to forgetting Hell: he was walking towards his own personal heaven.

 

It’s a mystery what you’ve done for me

I’m at a place I’ve never been

I’ve knocked on that door

a hundred times before

now you’ve suddenly let me in

 

For the first three months of your relationship, neither you nor Dean even realized that you were both hunters.

The misunderstanding started off innocently enough. After meeting at the bar, the two of you had gone on to have an amazing few days together, but then you’d separated. Both of you had shared something about vague “jobs” that kept you on the road all the time, but that had been the end of it. There hadn’t really been a need to share any specifics about your lifestyles, because both Dean and you had assumed the relationship was at its end. It’s not like hunters were really made for anything long-term anyway.

At least, that was what you thought. In an unprecedented, and entirely unexpected turn of events, neither of you were able to get your three-night stand out of your mind. So, after weeks of internal debate, you finally took the plunge and reached out to Dean about meeting up again. To your surprise, he was fully on board.

In the beginning, the two of you only met up once every few weeks, with each visit lasting a few days at the most. But, that wasn’t enough, for either of you. So, on a cold, snowy night in the middle of December, the two of you finally bit the bullet and sat down to have “the talk”.

Despite having the highest of hopes for your burgeoning relationship, in the back of your minds, you both had this fear that the other one would run off screaming into the night when they heard the truth. Neither of you had even considered the possibility that you could both be hunters, so you couldn’t have been more shocked when you found out you shared the same secret.

Sam, on the other hand, found it absolutely hilarious. He found it slightly less hilarious when the two of you kicked him out of the room to celebrate your new milestone, but he couldn’t help but smile at the beautiful foundation he saw forming. This was a foundation built to last, one that would only grow in the years to come.

 

Fate was finally taking its course.

I don’t know why

I’ve been so blessed to love someone like you

I don’t know why

I must confess, I only know I do

 

After that day, you and Dean had been completely inseparable.

It didn’t take long for you to move into the bunker with the boys, the three of you turning into a seamless hunting team. Dean gave you your own room, of course, but you never used it. In your mind, from the moment you’d shared your job with him, the relationship had become real. You didn’t need, or want, to sleep away from him ever again.

Dean, on the other hand, took a little bit longer to realize the magnitude of your relationship. He tried to give you your space, but he never pushed you to sleep in a separate room, secretly thanking God every night you chose to sleep in his. He didn’t fight the inevitable, because, while he may have been slow to consciously face the truth, his nightmares weren’t: they disappeared for good the second you fell into his arms.

 

In my heart, I won’t question you baby

I’ll just lay here in your arms

I don’t know why

I’ve been so blessed to love someone like you

I don’t know why

I must confess, I only know I do

 

Even all these years later, there were still moments where Dean’s time in Hell would cross his mind, but it wasn’t like it used to be. Not even close.

Now, the memories would come like a flash and vanish just as quickly, the pain and guilt that had haunted him long since gone. In its place were happy memories: images of your smile, your son’s first steps, your daughter’s first word.

The reason for the change was simple: there was no need for Dean to dwell on Hell anymore, not when he had you. That invisible scar was finally gone and Dean was healed.

Now, when the angels and demons would whisper, there would be no doubt they were right: Dean Winchester really was the luckiest man alive.

He had escaped Hell and he had found you. You were his heaven.


End file.
